Being a Mom again, after 10 years!!! It's not easy, This morning I had to go to his school, and find out what was going on!! He is failing everthing except mythology, as well as skipping his last class. The counselor was impressed I took it upon myself to come in now. What she doesn't realize is that I have 10 years of motherhood to make up for!!!
Last night he and I had a talk, and he went ahead and appologized for what i was going to learn this morning. I am very disappointed in him, and It is up to me to disapline him?1? If anyone reading this has any parental advice, I need it, desperatly.
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If he's apologizing to you before you get there, that's a good sign; it means that he cares what you think!
ReplyDeleteYou can't make up for 10 years all at once anymore than he can absorb 10 years worth of love and caring all at once! One day at a time, one situation at a time. Perhaps he felt like no one else cared, why should he; now he knows someone does care, very much!
If he's behind because he just didn't bother to do the work, then all he can do is try to catch up what he's allowed and go on from there; if he's behind because he didn't understand something and therefore can't do the work, then perhaps some tutoring is in order. I've seen that work wonders with different members of my family.
My oldest (31 now, astrophysicist, helping calibrate instruments in satellites) only needed to be told that there was nothing he couldn't do and to always do his best, no matter whether anyone else was or not.
His brother, younger by 11 months, was so tired of being compared to his brother all through school that though he's just as smart, he chose to apply himself to the things he cared about and no amount of cajoling would make him work any harder than he had to. He still made the honor rolls and such, but just never tried to "lead the way".
Now he makes more than I ever did as a project manager in computer programming; using the skills he learned in the things he cared about. His drive is harnessed to his own family and he does very well for them.
You just never know how it will all turn out! I'm grateful each day that they work with their minds and keyboards instead of beating themselves to death in an auto factory like I did for 30 years!
I fear if you try to discipline too much that you will "push the anger" button; I came close to that with my youngest more than once.
Your heart is in the right place and it sounds like his is as well; let them guide you and all will work out somehow!
Please tell him it's important though, because it's much better to work with your mind than your body!
alan