My Terriable, Horriable, no good very bad Day

So I had this photoshoot planned, and the photographer was a no show!! Caused me to spend money I didn't have. When I spoke to my husband this morning-Let's just say something was ary? I decided to call him early, before he's usual night call. He was inroute to where I am, suprise. I wanted to scream, so I went to work on the bag's for a minute. He arrived shortly after I started hitting my bag. He was here at arround his usual night time call.
I d't think al is well at home. I ate how he absarbes the personallty of whoever he is around, especiaally when its his "Hero"

On aa lighter note, my webcam work was quite good today. after just one week of being in my lobby everyday this week, I am picking up a following, as well as getting better at tlkig durig my shows.
Today i did get off, it had been building all day, and when it happened what an explosion It Was!! Now I know masterbation isn't equa to sex wit a partnerin the room w/ you, but for today It was great.

I am already aver this day~

I am really a stupid-head, no excuses!! I caught up on my e-mail lat night. As i was croching in the barn out back, waiting for a tornadoto blow us away!! (I refused t stay in the trailer home, seeing I don't think it's even strapped down!!

I understand HNT now!!!Hell ya I am on board, I so get it Half Nekked thursday's, I hope It's spelled right). I can't wait till thursday, this should prove interesting.
In cloosing I must add, I am glad I got into the writting first. Keeping a journal, as My Gaurdian

Angel asked me to do, i am gratefull. It seems that it has been helpful for me. I must say a prayer for the seetest soul for giving me this gift.

Assets

NIPPLES

I had a great weekend!! Partied at the St. Paddy's day parade, and visited the bike expo., and I am adding wickedly, made "my Presence Known" to a past lover. It's not that this man broke my heart, more like I broke his. I didn't realize that he would become obbsessed, and stalk me when I didn't want to lave my husband for him?? Hell hews in my weddding!!! He is partially responsable for The Biggest Sacrafice IN My LIFE. I experienceced the greatest gift, and equally painful loss. I found joy in him seeing, but not being seen by me. Coupled wit the reality that my painful gift, will he will never ever know!!

I am a sexual being, and I can adit it. I'm not one for mushy gushy emtional bullshit, not when the sex is hot!!! I am quite comfortable with guiltless pleasure between 2 consenting adults. i suppose that is why having a playmate that is in a relatioship with someone seperate from our playdate's is what I am looking for. Yes, love your spouse, but let's "FUCKING PLAY!"

Don't get me wrongg I love my husband, but we haven'y fucked since Pig's had wings!! I don't mind if he finds a fucking friend, as long as he is either disc reet with her, or honest with me!! If people would just get to the brutal truth of themselves, the nature of there needs, and put it all out there in the light, I believe life would be much easier.

It is hard to hide one's "real" sidee from life's "normal" people, folks's that are just exactly like us, but ashamed of that darker side. Everyday fighting with the desire to open up and be more true to themselves.

That's why I love the Parade, eveery year "normal" people get a day to dress up, let there hair down,, an let tthe beast they are ashamed off loose on the street of the city. It's a wondorous site tom, The Freak in real life!!

new batteries for old toys

As I sit here, lounging like a southern belle, watching my web cachat window, Perodically makingpoite dirty talk wit our keyboards. I am witinon my"baby" whrever e e, skippping trough the wb,looking for his dream Cybersex girl, I have decided to keep an oldfashined diary.

I sit here looking intotwe cam dispaing m image bac at me, I slip into a fantasy:

Suddenly all the horny cocks out there are in here with me, I can't see faces, only cock and balls, and bodies. I am being gang banged, I can't scream, my mouthis filling with jism, and then replaced with another hard cock. Someone s behind me pulling my hair as they thrust there load into my swet spot, and then nother cock is entering me, banging his balls against my ass, harder and harder. I can feel hands onmy tits, pinching my nipples, a there's more cock jamming through my tits. He has squeezed trhem tightly together, and his warm jism squirts all over my face. His hands rubbing his seed into my skin.

I begin to orgam, as I shke violently with waves of pleasure pushing thru my body, another one erupts inside me, this one more intense, and lasting even longer. I no longer even ralize the men rvaging my body, wave after wave runing thu me, and when the highted creshendo of plesure subsides, i look to see it's nly my little pocket rocket that battery was new baby!!

feeling lonely feeling small

How strange my days have turned, I don't ncessarily believe that "Murphy's
Law" has taken over my exterior self, but I am momentarly running from a black cloudover me. I enjoyed a few ticks of the tockw/my eldest son. I was indulged in an innocent tawdry fling. I have earned a little money build up. I even shared a peceful morning enjoying the blessing of an old friends companionship.

I have no general complaints, just one tiny glitch in my outlook, I have compromised my daily routine to make a bit of change. I know it takes time to pick yourself back up, but damn this time it's hard!! For Better or Worse, this time when I regain my indipendance, I refuse to allow myselfto be cared for again!!

There is no such a freedom as to have another person, tending to all my finacial, personal, and emtional physical needs. It make for the woman you are, to hide further away, and harder to regroup.

I am learning, but somtimes the pace I move doesn't feel up to my choosing.

satisfied paydate

I have been semi satisfied, all we had was a stolen moment of time, but It was enough for now. All those hours in my web room being teased, not teasing! You couple that with an unknown number of months without sex in my marriage, FRUSTRATING!!

How Devine it feels to be handled by the deserving master, and not having to exchange many words to master my most primal desire.

Friday th 13th!!!

I had a great sho this morning!!! It was a cam to cam, and I must say one hell of an orgasim!!!

I wish they were all that easy.

I havn't had a chance to meet for my playdate as of yet. I am starting to entertain the idea of looking for a new playmate? Someone with a more open schedule mabe, but definatly the same charisma.

alone in my chat room

Well I havn't posted in a while, and right now Iam also in my web room. I am bit bored it's slow tonight, but I am showing myself. Maybe I need to trry smthing new? I am very close to my target goal in my bank account, but I am feeling the emotional drain of cyber rejection?! I hope someone here can help me w/some new ideas for getting shows.

Sexualtension boiling over

I di the cyber sex to night, and I must say it is turnung out to be quit a lucrative business. Although, extremly frustrating!!!! I mean some private shows get a bit intense. I have my toys, to calm the desire , but I still fill unsatisfied. I know that it is just the build up of my sexual needs, some being meet, and others left unfulfilled.

I suppose tommorow I will give my playmate a nudge, and remind him we have a playdate that I need!! I need to release all this extra sexual tension building with this webcam work.

waiting on playdate details

I have a play date in the near future, I am just waiting on my playmateto call me w/the arangements. I can't help myself from being a bit excited for this one. I was told he is going to blindfold me this time, just thinking of the possabilties, has my pussy tingling. I havn't been dominated completly in some time, and w/this partner, I willingly invite to do so.

I want to enjoy the blind unknown, to be completly obedient to his quiet control, I can't wait.

I must fill you in on my cyber-sex. It is going very well. I have an appointment at 10 am so I will be keeping my blog short. This job is awsome!!